An Unpalatable Misunderstanding
by awintea
Summary: royalpair // Atobe decides to make his boyfriend a gift for Valentine's Day, and humour at the expense of Atobe ensues // oneshot.


**An Unpalatable Misunderstanding**

Because Royal love seemed rather missing on the archives, I wrote one. For Valentine's Day, 'cause I wanted to join the crowd of 'oh, let's post Valentine's ficcies early' writers. 'Twas revised so that the spaces between italics aren't eaten up. Kudos to Rage-chan here.

**x An Unpalatable Misunderstanding **x 1000 words x Valentine's Day ficcy

Atobe Keigo was a very, _very_ determined person, in all the ways possible. He didn't get to the top of Hyoutei's tennis club without hard work, of course, and there was much trouble for him in trying to stay there. He, being student body president, was a natural born leader as well. He had amazing grades, prowess in all subjects... The list of his wonderful qualities went on, quite possibly to no end.

However, there was a certain capped boy with olive-green hair and a horrible attitude who didn't appreciate all of his prowess, and Atobe was going to make sure it didn't stay that way - nobody had the right to ignore his phone calls (and _especially_ not his boyfriend), even if they did come at hours when most people were sleeping! (Atobe was certainly _worth_ waking up for as it wasn't everyday that common folk got to speak to somebody as refined as him, and the brat should have been more grateful instead of hanging up on him as if he was some... some _plebeian._)

So, Atobe was resolute that he would have to make something positively _amazing_ so that Ryoma would stop being bratty and ignoring his wonderful self. (Not that Atobe was doing this to _apologise_ to Ryoma, because clearly, Ryoma was in the wrong for so rudely hanging up on Atobe. It wasn't Atobe's fault that Ryoma wasn't awake yet when he had called him.)

Also, Atobe felt that a gift on Valentine's Day would make everything better, and maybe he'd get a kiss or two out of it as well. (Ryoma had absolutely refused to talk to him or see him at all since the phone incident. And people called _Atobe_ a drama queen. So what if he had called Ryoma at four a.m.? ...For a full week?)

Atobe, of course, wouldn't be baking chocolate for Ryoma. He was no _girl_. No, he'd have to think of something more appropriate for one as elegant as himself. He ran through the options in his head. Flowers? Too much pollen, and Atobe didn't really like flowers much. A Valentine's Day card? Too impersonal. Atobe's father gave his mother a card for every occasion, and Atobe didn't want to be like his father at all. Tennis supplies? Too friendly. Atobe needed a gift that shouted, 'I'm your fucking boyfriend, so pay more attention to me!' Maybe a romantic dinner of sorts? ...Ryoma would never appreciate the finer foods. He ate _burgers_. And _fries_. (And there was no way that Atobe was going to eat _fast food_, even if it was for Ryoma. He liked his arteries _un_clogged.)

Really, the best gift idea seemed to be chocolate, simply because it _represented_ Valentine's Day. But Atobe didn't want to seem like the _girl_ in the equation, which he _clearly_ was not...

But there was no better gift idea.

Atobe sighed, pulling out one of his cell phones and speed dialling his cook. 'Can you please gather all supplies needed for making chocolate in the kitchen?'

--

Ryoma was literally going to murder the person who had called him. (He knew very well who it was, and that only gave him an incentive.) Ryoma was _sure_ that he had turned his cell phone mode to 'silent' the night before! Ryoma checked the clock: five a.m. So at least _that_ was a bit of an improvement.

Ryoma took his phone while it was still ringing and threw it out the open window, making a hollow 'thunk' as it hit the tree.

Surprisingly, the tree shouted angrily, in a rather familiar voice, 'What the hell was that for, Ryoma?'

Ryoma turned slowly to face his window. Maybe he had been hallucinating. He probably had been. Trees didn't talk. Ever. How could it be possible for trees to talk anyway? That defied every law of science! Actually, it broke every law of everything.

'Did you think the tree was talking?' the tree drawled, and Ryoma walked over to the window to take a closer look. There in the branches sat a quite disgruntled Atobe Keigo, who had a red splotch on his forehead in the shape of a cell phone.

'You didn't have to throw it so _violently_,' Atobe complained. 'My face is going to bruise now.'

Ryoma said nothing, only glaring at the offensive person-in-tree. Atobe was going to a new low, actually coming to his house to bother him so he wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. He was going to be tired in school _all day_ and during practice too, and he'd probably be yelled at by Tezuka-buchou and it'd be all Atobe's fault. Stupid Keigo.

'Don't stare at me like that,' Atobe rebuked, frowning. 'Do you know how much effort it had taken me to climb this tree? I must have scratched my pants on the wood.'

'Oh, your poor pants,' Ryoma said sarcastically. 'Go away and let me sleep.'

Atobe threw his cell phone back to him, which Ryoma caught deftly. Even when tired, his reflexes were top-notch, which ensured that he caught the other lumpy package that Atobe threw to him.

'What's this?' Ryoma said, but Atobe had already jumped off the tree and disappeared into the early morning.

On closer inspection, the lump actually turned out to be multiple lumps. Multiple brown lumps collected in a decorative plastic bag that was much more aesthetically pleasing than the brown lumps themselves. Ryoma wasn't sure what they were. Maybe it was supposed to be some sort of newfangled and fashionable foreign food? Ryoma opened the bag and popped one of the brown things into his mouth, and promptly spat it out.

Atobe had woken him up for _that_?

Ryoma decided that he wasn't going to speak to Atobe for at least a month. Or two. For trying to poison him.

--

Back in his limousine, Atobe congratulated himself for a job well done, and waited eagerly all day for the apology phone call from Ryoma that never came. **x owari**

**x omake**

'Yuushi, why do you have to call me now?'

'What's wrong with my calling you? Are you expecting somebody to call you now?'

'It's Echizen, isn't it? Why would he call you?'

'Yuushi, you're too smart for your own good. And he's going to call me because I had given him a Valentine's Day present and he wants to thank me for it.'

'...But it's the twelfth, Atobe. The twelfth of February.'

'...What?'

--

Now, wouldn't you love to review and offer your thoughts? I haven't had the omake in a oneshot for a while, if I remember correctly, so I hope I haven't lost my touch or anything... if I've ever had it. xD -awinchan


End file.
